"Getting rid of the clutter"

Oftentimes, the things that help me to be a better mom have little or nothing to do with mothering and more to do with my walk with God. 

Today, our church service was just that.  From the first song to the last, and the message and prayers in between, I was moved deeply and led directly. 

"I will never be the same again, I can never return, I've closed the door..." I sung so honestly and with such fervor because I'm "all in".  The decision to homeschool has been something I've struggled with and prayed over for a long time.  Even last year, when I homeschooled Ella in the fall, I wasn't fully committed.  Not with my whole heart, mind and soul.  I had one foot in the homeschooling camp and one foot in the "normal" camp. 
We enrolled her in school in January because I needed something off of my plate.  Ever said those words, "I've taken on too much and something's got to give"?  Well for me last year, it was homeschooling.  The one thing I had prayed so directly about and the one thing I felt that God had told me to do, I chose to let go of... and when God directs and we disobey, there are consequences.  Those consequences are not always that something bad happens to us; more often, the consequence is the blessing we miss out on when we don't follow His lead.

This year, the first 2 weeks of school have been amazing!  I feel like God is pouring out His blessing on me and the kids every day, and I think I missed this entirely when I sent Ella to school last spring.  It's not just our school books and curriculum, but the life lessons I've been able to teach the kids that make it all worthwhile. 

I've been eliminating some of the busy-ness from our lives so I can focus my energy where God has led me to focus-- my kids.  I've been saying for a few weeks (months?) that I've "whittled" my schedule... said "no" to things that I would usually say "yes" to... so that I'm not distracting myself from my purpose.

And guess what the title of today's message was?  You guessed it: "Getting rid of the clutter!"  Rick's words pierced my heart and convicted me further, but they also validated some of the "no's" that I've had to say lately.  The point of his message: "Get rid of the things that distract you from your God-given purpose".... and 2 statements during that message both encouraged and challenged me. 

First, he talked about how Moses climbed Mt. Sinai and met with God.  "Moses discovered the place where God would move and he went there."  While we don't have to climb a mountain to experience God in our lives, we do have to discover the place where God will move in our lives... and go there.  For me, homeschooling is that place.  The calling I've received wasn't something I wanted or even asked for... I've often said, "I'm not the homeschooling-type."  I'm not even-tempered, patient, or disciplined; I was scared to death to take on the huge responsibility of educating my children because I can be "crazy mom!"  But when we prayed (Brian and I both prayed separately about this decision), we both felt like God directed us to do this.  And then we realized that leading our children to God was a far greater responsibility than merely educating them!  This made the decision to homeschool seem less daunting, but no less difficult.  And now, by obeying God-- even when it's hard, much more difficult than I expected-- I have found that place that God will move in my life, and I'm there!!  And I am seeing him move over and over again each day in our home, in my marriage and in the lives of my children!!  What could be more exciting?!!?

The second statement Rick made that spoke directly to me was, "The minute Moses stepped away from God, he stopped glowing."  When Moses met with God and all His glory on Mt. Sinai, he glowed-- like a glow worm!  Can you imagine?  How evident!  Moses couldn't escape the glow after meeting with God, and the people around him were amazed (and terrified).... and Moses kind of liked it.  But the further Moses drew away from God and His glory on that mountaintop meeting, the less he glowed.  He even wore a veil so the people wouldn't know he wasn't glowing anymore.  (Instead of just returning to God, he faked it....)

Do you get it?  "The minute he stepped away from God, he stopped glowing."  Another message God wants me to hear, loud and clear-- "Stay with me, and you'll glow."  The whole purpose of me schooling the girls at home was to learn to rely more on God and less on myself.  "Stay with me".... and I feel like I'm glowing on the inside because I love the mom that I am when I'm with God....  I don't like the mom I am when I'm just going it alone.

"I give you me, all that I have, not holding back, but every part; all that I am and hope to be, Lord I am blessed, when I give you me."  We closed today with another song that touched my soul.  Rick often says, "Don't sing it if you don't mean it."  I tell you, living for God's purpose is the most freeing thing I've ever done... and crazy as it sounds, the challenges of homeschooling have lifted me and given me more energy and strength than I ever could have imagined! 

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory!"  Eph 3:20-21